With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
