no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
