Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
