During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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