I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
zippers are such a cool invention
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
