The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
