I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
