I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
