Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
