She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
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