You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
