I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
