You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Terrible idea I love it
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
