it wasn't lemon gatorade
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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