Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
