I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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