I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
