My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
