I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
