I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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