Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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