she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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