using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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