Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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