he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
