just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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