the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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