I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
