If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
