You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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