Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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