I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
