well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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