At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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