there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
