I wish I could teleport
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
