I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Randomize
