I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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