she looked like the bat from fern gully.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
