my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
