Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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