her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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