how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize