New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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