I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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