he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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