She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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