Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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