I'm laying in your front yard are you home
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
