Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
