I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
