Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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