David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize