Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
two words: eviction party
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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